We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
