New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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