I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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