i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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