apparently the secret to your success is patron
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
