I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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