dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
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