I'm eating all of the evidence.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
