omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
