I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
