i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
