I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
