Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
