Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
