I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize
