this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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