You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
