waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
BRING THE BAGELS
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