i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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