Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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