White coat. Heels.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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