my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
