last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
