I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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