I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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