my mouth tastes like poor choices
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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