i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My dick has a subreddit
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
