Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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