You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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