Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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