turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
