i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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