whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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