My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
