so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
