Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
