i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
