wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
