Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
mondays should just be called national damage control day
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
