I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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