Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
