drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
