Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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