Already got asked if we're dating
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I don't deserve a penis
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
