I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
