I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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