: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
