GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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