i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
