you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
