I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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