Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
