Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
